I don't like writing "depressing" posts but tonight I honestly can't help it.
This weekend I had tons planned. I was going to clean and keep myself busy. I was looking forward to today because I had gone out and bought all the ingredients for a nice dinner that I was going to make from scratch and bring it to my friend that has been having a bad run of luck recently. I figured it would be nice to be there for someone. I know what it's like to be alone and in need of someone to be there for you.
Well I reached out to this person TWICE via text. Asking if they still wanted me to go and see them. No answer. I dunno what happened. I have that same crappy, "thrown away" feeling I had when Sean left. I hate this feeling. It's honestly one of the worst feelings anyone could ever feel. The only difference is I KNOW that it's not my fault. I am an AMAZING friend and anyone lucky to have me in their life can confirm it. I feel stupid for caring so much about a person that, honestly, didn't deserve it. A person that probably didn't care from the start. A person that did to me what others have done in the past. You think I would learn my lesson by now, NOPE! took one last feeling of pure shit to be reminded that I deserve better people in my life.
So after having a tiny bit of the (old) me creeping out and being shunned away... AGAIN. I'm going to keep it locked away. I'm going to take this lesson and learn from it. Embrace the mistake and be more careful. Give less, take more... that type of thing.
Thank you to the only two people that were there for me tonight. Andy & John. I appreciate your very presence in my life.
I better end this. Have a good night everyone.
These guys are AMAZING live and really sweet. (I actually met them). I listen to this song every time I lose a friend. I listen to this song a lot.
