Welcome to 2013

So I don't update as much as I used to. Mainly because there isn't much to report. A whole lot of nothing. My life is pretty boring. I've never been a person with a ton of shit going on.

While most people are swearing up and down that they are going to lose weight or kick the cancer stick habit or stop doing this and that I've got a very different New Years resolution. One that I know I can stick too. Especially because it's not impossible to do.

My New Years Resolution is... no more casual dating. To find one person and just stick with them.
This is a tall order for every guy I know and have met so I'm not going to be going out, messing around, talking to blah blah blah with guys. No kissing, no touching (beyond a hug). Nothing.
I've reached a point of so much disappointment in guys that I've literally hit rock bottom. I am really burned and am craving something real. Not some bull shit facade that is made to entertain me. That's led to an over abundance of heart break and disappointment.

Along with this resolution comes several other changes. Such as; not giving a shit. Most people that know me... or shall I say... KNEW ME... remember someone that is constantly checking and seeing if plans are on. Making sure people are ok, talking, making plans and etc. No more. That person is gone and has been taken over by the "not giving a shit" me. I don't confirm plans with anyone.
If I don't hear from them I go on and make other plans. I actually have a rather hilarious story about this very issue. LMFAO!

I don't seek out to make plans with people. They have my phone number and are (more then likely) on my friends list. They have the capacity of reaching out to me, it's a matter of want. So I just don't bother with them. Out of sight out of mind! that's how I live :D

Ever since I've taken on this new "outlook" I'm a lot less stressed out and anxious. The meds help too. But still limiting my exposure to negativity helps a lot.
I have very few people I can call my friend. I can count on just 1 hand in fact. That's actually normal for me though. I like to say that I know a lot of people but I have very few friends. :)

Not sure who, if anyone, reads my blog but if you don't know about what happened with Loki the whole adoption fell through. I didn't get him. I was really sad and depressed at first but then I found the most amazing cat that was in need of a good home. Scout! He was at the animal shelter. Skinny as a rail and in serious need of TLC. So I decided to foster him and he came home with me.
This boy is SPOILED! and that's a major understatement. He has gained weight and is showered with love all the time. I feel so lucky to have him in my life. He's taught me that everything really does happen for a reason. I am so thrilled that Loki didn't end up being mine. That Scout is mine and is my sweet little prince. I would be lost with out him.

Besides all that there isn't much to say.

I learned a lot about myself with in the year of 2012. I learned how strong I am, how forgiving and how rare real friends are.

I have no regrets about what happened this year. Even though I got really hurt. But it was a hurt I needed to feel. A "hurt" that was more of a reminder that I could feel. That I wasn't void of all emotion. I still feel that pain and I try to use it as a driving force to make positive changes in my life.
I like to think that one day I'm gonna find someone that wants me and that will be there and won't hurt me. But ... who knows. Until then I'm going to embrace my freedom and live my life to the fullest.

My hope for 2013... is to be happy.

To find a better job, that pays MORE. To travel... go on adventures and to just... live.