Ok... here's an update

I haven't updated this thing in a while. I always intend to but get side tracked.

There isn't much to report. Work seems to consume at least 70% of my life right now. I don't mind the stability though. I haven't had it in so  long so I have a whole new appreciation for it. It's tough to keep my social life going, but I make sure to keep in touch with my close friends.

Yesterday as I drove home I realized that I've finally accepted my "single" life. I can't really explain it. I've reached a point were I don't care. I'm not guarded at all when it comes to dating. In fact I'm very open and honest. I guess it's that I know that not everyone sticks around and that the ones that do are actually worth investing time, emotion and energy into. But the majority of people have a tendency of just coming and going as they please. The people that "come and go" will forever stay in the friend zone. They are totally unworthy of dating if they see it fit to check in every 2 months at their leisure. Those are the people that would check out of a relationship with out even batting an eye lash. I know A LOT of guys like this.

I think I need to actually be friends with someone before going ahead and dating them. Not like BEST FRIENDS, but you know someone that I hang out with, talk to regularly and actually trust. Not people that I make out with and have pay for shit. Nah, those are people that I would put under the "throw away category".

Yes, I have my own fucked up way of thinking.

I'm not interested in any (ONE) person right now. I know a lot of people, but none of them know me. It kinda sucks and it makes me feel lonely sometimes. There are days that I wish I had someone I could actually depend on. Not someone that is a "sheep" and follows what their friend does as an example. Or someone that judges me and tells me to change personality traits just because they don't like it. Or someone that is too busy trying to impress his "best friend" and fix up her fucked up life just because he's "that type of friend".

These are people that need help finding out who they are before trying to be with someone. Obviously they haven't accepted themselves so there is no way they can accept another person.

I hate people pleasers.

I guess personal growth comes with time and experience. I can say I know I'm far more advanced in that department then the majority of people I know. I see a lot of people trying to prove themselves, to be what everyone else wants them to be. Or what they think everyone else wants them to be. If there is anything I have learned in my 28 years of life, never ever ever EVER do something for someone else that won't make you happy in the end. Take it from someone that uprooted their life to please a "family" that never even loved them. A "family" that saw it fit to move away and not even give a shit about the aftereffects.

Thankfully I kicked them all out of my life and am FINALLY happy. I do things only to please myself and I don't regret it at all. The last 5 years have been about my happiness. I think a lot of people can learn from me.

Ok well enough about my amazing self :D I'm gonna quickly ramble about Thanksgiving. I'm excited about it but not as much as I expected to be. We're having it this Sunday to avoid having to deal with all the crap of people seeing their family on Thursday. So it's a Thanksgiving before Thanksgiving... I guess you can say. I can't wait to see everyone.
The following week I'm going to Atlantic City! I can't wait to go!!! I'm not going to be a fool and bring stuff home for people. I'm going to go and spend the money I save up all on me! me! me! meeee!!!

Christmas is coming and thankfully I'll be single (I PLAN ON IT!) so that's like $300 I can put towards something else (like something for ME!) I have a tendency of going all out on someone I'm with. That is a very bad idea. I don't recommend it. People... don't go all out on someone until they go all out on YOU. :D

Ok... I better end this. I need to go to work. Until next time....