Closure

This morning I went grocery shopping with my mother. I was walking around and that's when I saw Joe. Seans step-father. I ran up to him and gave him a hug. I was so happy to see him. I knew this conversation wouldn't end on a high note. But I asked about him and his wife. How they are doing. Then I asked about Sean. He explained to me that it was nothing I did. That Sean just isn't ready for the type of commitment it requires to be in a long term relationship. Sean isn't a 1 woman kinda guy. He needs to just date and not be tied down. I was his longest relationship. And he (Joe) is shocked that Sean lasted as long as he did with me. He said that Sean really did love me, but he's still only a kid. Sean never talks about me. Hes now focusing on work and just finished school. I ended up breaking down in tears a few times.

I finally got the closure I needed. I really needed to hear all that. Now I can take the information and move on. I still don't want to be with anyone. I just want to be alone. I feel like no one will ever be able to fill that void I still have in my heart. If anyone wants to be with me they will have an uphill battle ahead of them. And let's face it, no guy is willing to “fight” to be with anyone. All men want things the easy way. So that pretty much means I'm good to go in the alone department.