2011 is coming to an end. I can honestly say this year has been a year filled with happiness beyond explanation. The highest, greatest, most amazing happiness I have ever felt in my life. But it’s also been filled with more heartache, sadness, tears and suffering then ever before. It’s amazing how life can cram so much of two extremes in just the course of 12 months. Only in my life… ONLY in my life.
I’m not sure when I’ll fully move on and let go of things. My heart is still pretty broken and my faith in anything or anyone has been shot to hell.
2012 is going to be my year. I’m going to (hopefully) do more traveling. And continue to meet new people. I want to travel to Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, Pennsylvania, New York and if I’m really lucky… finally go to Louisiana. The place I hope to one day move to. Oh! And can’t forget my Vegas.
I’m gonna do more of what makes me happy. I’ve always been the one that cared too much about too many people and it’s gotten me into nothing more then an emotional rutt that I’ve been fighting to claw my way out of for the past 15 months. I’m doing ok… but I got a long way to go.
My gift is my curse. Not many people can relate because not many people carry the “totally self less” characteristic trait. But I am extremely self less. I have sacrificed MY happiness for way to many people, way to many times. I finally took a stand and stopped myself last year and decided that I couldn’t do it anymore. But I’m finding myself falling into that bad habit of giving, giving and GIVING and never getting anything back. Why can’t there be more people like me?
It still bothers me, and it always has, that there are people that sit and complain about things over and over and over again for a year and instead of being pro-active and trying to fix the situation they just complain. Like complaining will somehow magically fix the problem. Um… no. That’s not gonna help at all. I’m so happy that person no longer is a part of my life. They got booted from my life and I haven’t looked back. I’m pretty sure this person is making everyone around them miserable and annoyed with their issues and lack of desire to actually change things.
It’s so dreary out. It’s cold, windy and worst of all… raining. Ick… I loathe the rain.
I can’t wait to leave 2011 behind me. If it was up to me I would erase it from my memory.
If only what they did in Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind could really be done. I would have run to get my memory erased back in May.
It’s getting late and all I’m doing is rambling. I need sleep.
Night night!
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