Sean called me.......

Yup. I think he tried calling me. A number came up that isn't in my phone  but looked VERY familiar. I was asleep when this person called. They left no message but I'm around 90% sure it's Sean.

Seriously! wtf! (if this is him) why the hell does he decide to come slithering back into my life right when I'm doing so much better?! I don't want him back. If I did I would call that number. But my fear is that it is him and that he will say some ass kissing shit that will make me get all girlie and emotional. I have no desire to speak to him. Unless he wants his shit back. I would gladly give him all his stuff. But I need ALL my stuff back too.

Why do guys do this? They must time it juuuuuust right. So that right when you're picking up the pieces of your heart, stitching it back together, starting to let go... then BAM! you hear from them. It ... SUCKS!

So... I went on this date yesterday with Adam (the guy with the super sexy car that I'm in love with). The entire time I was thinking of someone else. Adam is such a bland person that I was bored. I didn't enjoy myself AT ALL. My heart just wasn't in it. And apparently neither was my head. Because my thoughts kept on drifting. I won't be seeing OR talking to him again. I'm gonna miss that car. :(

Then there's Joe. The person that has been after me for over a year. We lost touch, got back in touch, lost touch, got back in touch. He dated someone else. I dated Sean. Well I was supposed to go out with him today. But I cancled because I am taking some time off. I'm no longer hung up on Sean (THANK GOD!) but I like someone else that's a billion times better then Sean. BUT... he doesn't want me either.
Seriously... can someone just smack some sense into me?! LOFL!

I guess with my free time I'm gonna just work, take care of my pets, keep up with my hammie making hobbie, go to the gym, do ZUMBA! and just be alone. I learned from my mistake. Don't take people for granted. Don't be afraid to get hurt, especially if you're already hurt, you have nothing to loose and something to gain. And be honest. Always... be honest.

I do have something to look forward to. I'm going to NYC in September and... that's not even the best part... I GET TO SEE MY BESTEST FRIEND!!!! Dan!! I miss him soooo badly! I love him! I miss him! and it's gonna be amazing to just hang out again after all these years apart. I'm gonna just remind myself that in just a couple months I'm gonna be happy again. Even if it is for just one day.

This is my "fuck up" song. Been listening to it a LOT!

Song Meaning: this song is about this person and he started becoming someone he's not and he now realizes it and is now regretting that he was ever that person he was. He also said something to someone he shouldn't of and now they see him different. And he wishes he never became the person they see him as now.