For months I was able to keep my depression in check with the help of my Lexapro. I'm far more edgy and emotional as of recently. I'm gonna call my P-doc on Monday and make an appointment ASAP. I need to either be put on an additional anti-depressant, upped on the ones I'm on or be put on something else that's stronger.
It's been 2 month since Sean and I broke up and I still yearn for him. I find myself missing all the smallest things that annoyed the hell out of me. Like how he would hold my hand so tight that it would hurt. Or how he would hug me all the time and kiss me and wouldn't do anything unless I was by his side. How he would text me every morning and every night before bed. How his eyes would change color or his smile and how soft his skin always was. I would give up anything, change everything just to have him back. I just want him back so badly. I feel this huge empty void in my heart like everything that meant something to me is gone. I have been trying my hardest to reach out to people, meet new people, go out, keep myself busy but no matter what happens my mind seems to go back to Sean. And I feel this ache in my chest and I break down.
I avoided driving my car for the past 2 months because it reminds me of him. I look at the passenger seat and I feel so sad. I want him back. I just want him back more then anything else.
So I just took this quiz thing online about this thing called "Heart Survey". This was the result (pretty accurate if you ask me.)
You fall into a pretty high category of pain. I understand this is an extremely difficult time, but there is still hope for you to feel better – and soon. Below is a quick summary of your results followed by a custom healing lesson which will start your healing today.
1 – You are suffering from Emptiness.Your mind, body, and heart are basically saying to you, “Hey, what’s the point of any of this without him or her?” The reason it is so painful is that more than loneliness, you are feeling emptiness.
2 – You are experiencing the Reminder Syndrome. You may not be able to get your ex, the break, up and the pain out of your mind for more than a few minutes at a time. There are subconscious triggers of your ex everywhere including songs, smells, objects, and much more.
3 – Negative thoughts - you can’t seem to shake them. Why did this happen (again)? I’m never going to meet anyone. The thought of dating again makes me want to vomit. Don’t worry, you are not alone and there is a simple and powerful method to combat these thoughts.
4 – Loss of a possible soulmate. It seems that you believe that you have lost the person that was the one for you. The one you had been waiting for, the person that made you whole, that made you who you are and wanted to be. I want to tell you that even in this situation, it is possible to heal, to have hope, and to live a vibrant life again.
I still want Sean back. I know that no matter what, I won't be moving on from this for a very long time.
No comments:
Post a Comment