Short Update...

This is gonna be a short update.

Had a crazy (yet really good) week. Monday & Tuesday I ran some (much needed) errands after work. Wednesday I went down to Orange and saw Kim, Felicia and Dave. It was GREAT seeing them. Watching them sing Karaoke was pretty cool too. Even if I didn't feel up to participating.

Thursday I came home and did cleaning and relaxing. Then Friday I went shopping for baby Tiffanies birthday today. She's turning 3! :D

I finally made it home and did stuff around the house and turned in early.

Today I got to see Randy and the boys that I love love LOOOOVE soo much! Ian has to stop growing! He's got teeth... TEETH! The last time I saw him he wasn't walking. Now he is. Still has the pudgy legs though.

And then Baby Tiffanies birthday is at 2pm.

Then I got a date!

OMG!!! yup a date. I'm so excited and actually pretty nervous too. I'll post tomorrow how it goes ;)~

I was supposed to have a date for tomorrow but I backed out after finding out he's a smoker. NO, I did not know that before hand. I don't date smokers. If they want to ruin their lives, have at it, but I won't watch someone kill themselves.

Ok enough of the rambling. Gonna end this post.

Later!

Being single... and loving it!

An update before I head out and about tonight.

I've rejoined the single world. One would think I would be sad or feel depressed. HELL TO THE NO! I feel like jumping for joy. Even going to work has been made easier. Emotionally I'm in a better place and mentally I'm far more calm. 

I'm so happy I did what was best for ME. I haven't felt this happy and optimistic... ever. Never in my life have I embraced my single life like I do now. I feel like a better, more positive person.

My social calendar is still filling up. Plans for tonight, tomorrow, all of Saturday and all of Sunday. Then the following week/end is filling up too. Gotta love it!

Realistically, I'm in no state of getting into a relationship. Right now dating is probably the only thing I would be willing to do (unless someone gives me the vagina tingles). Then SLOOOOOOOWLY ease into a relationship.

Something I'm notorious for NOT doing. I'm so fucking impulsive I even jump into a relationship with out thinking it out fully. (that's what lead me to so many failed relationships in the past).

Between last year and this year I've learned a lot. A lot about myself and the things I want and need. 

I'm super excited about things going on for me. I won't “spill the beans” just yet but I'm just really happy. :)

It feels great. And I know I deserve it. 

I hope that Chris will find happiness in his life. I can't remain in communication with him due to my fear of something happening. The final conversation I had with him had me fearing for my life. I'm saving and documenting any communication he attempts with me. If I need to get the police involved I have absolutely no problem doing so. I swear, I attract all the crazies. 

                    My new addiction... SKRILLEX!!!! 

Disappointed

If you're anything like me, and I'm pretty sure NO ONE is, you'll understand were my feelings stem from.

I was super excited for James's party last night. I got new jeans and made sure to pick up a birthday cake for him. I couldn't wait to spend time with my friends and meet some possible new ones. I got there and everything was ok. My friends were there and I was really happy to see them. Then... there were James's friends. I can't say much about them because I don't know them, but from actions and appearance only the words that best described the girls includes: Stuck up, slutty, bitchy, stupid, conceited. And the guys: Jocks, tools, assholes, immature and retarded.

Needless to say, not my cup of tea. 

I ended up totally alone after maybe an hour. James and his friends were inside playing some stupid game thing and his other friends were outside ostracizing me. And my friends were (pretty much) having sex on the deck.

I felt lonely, pissed, annoyed, disappointed, depressed and really stupid. I went inside to get my phone (that was charging) packed my bag and left. I let James know that I was going and why I was leaving. I was so upset I ended up breaking down in tears. I hated his friends. They were the perfect definition of everything I hate in people. They all looked like and acted like they belonged in California surfing in orange county. And the guys looked like they belonged on Jersey shore drinking, fucking girls and smashing beer cans with their heads.

I drove home really upset. A part of me felt like I was at Jonathans party (AGAIN). The only difference is that James cared about how I felt and was genuinely sorry. 

  I felt really mad and disappointed in my friends. I understand you just started dating, I understand you're all about being together 24/7, take shits/pisses/ showers together and pretty much fucking every chance you have. But COME THE FUCK ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there is a time and a place for everything. The time and place is at home ALONE. I never realized how much I detested PDA until last night. It made me lose my appetite. Oh... that was another thing, I got there STARVING. I had nothing to eat since 2pm. I got there at 8:30. I was dieing and the moment all that went down I lost all desire to have anything to eat. I got in my car and left at like 10:30pm. I was able to suck it up for 2 hrs but that was 1hr and 59 min longer then I should have. 

I'm supposed to be going to another party that the King and Queen of the fuck club will be attending and due to my o-so HORRIBLE experience last night I'm considering not going. I don't want to get mad and say/do something or ruin things for the other people going.

(Note: It takes very little effort on any persons part to make me not want to do something ever again. Just traumatize me once and you're good to go for the rest of my life.)

So I'm staying home and hanging out with my babies. Playing some xbox and watching TV. Sounds boring, but I welcome it any day of the week in comparison to the hell I endured last night.

I wanted so badly to call Chris and talk to him and have the “hand to hold”. But I didn't. I knew that if I craved my freedom and my single life back (that I FINALLY GOT after 5 months of wanting it) I needed to take the bad with the good.

I'm single now. So that includes all the added (not so good) bonuses of... dealing with things alone.

Yeah... it kinda sucked but I got through it. I just reminded myself that this is what I wanted and I need to stand on my own 2 feet again and I'll get past it.

I'm ok now. Still really disappointed and pissy. But oh well, it's a lesson learned. NEVER GO TO A PARTY UNLESS AT LEAST 5 PEOPLE I KNOW will be there. And neither of those 5 being the 2 that I'm disappointed in. 

I really needed to vent. And I'm so happy I did. I'm gonna go take a nap and reeeelax.

Craziness!!!

It's been a very hectic past few weeks. Between working and keeping up with my crazy social life I can't seem to find time to sit and actually type things out.

Until now. 

Not much to update. Been enjoying my social circle of GREAT friends that I adore. I've seen Dave and his band perform and OMG! They are so amazing! I can't wait to see them on stage again!

This weekend I'm seeing Emma and her band play and then Sunday I'm pretty much doing nothing. (finally). Friday of next week is James's party. (Happy Birthday Hun!) and then it's Movie Trivia night at Brads & Daves (In Newtown) I can't wait. And next Sunday I got a lunch planned with a friend.

The remainder of the month, into next month, involves weekend parties. Apparently... I've become a social butterfly... and I LOVE it!

It's so nice to make friends that are genuine and accepting. It's tough to find people like that, in my age range, now a day. Usually I find people that are some sort of “sheep”. Either they are conforming to suite their partner or their friends. And I do NOT associate with neither.

                                          Brad and I

In September I'm flying to FL and I can't wait to see my little, precious, beloved, adorable niece Lindsey turn... ONE! Omg! She's getting so big. Speaking of... I better go pack up that box I've been meaning to seen for a few weeks now >_< 

                  MY HEART AND SOUL!!! BABY LINDSEY! 

Ok... time to go.

Stay tuned!

More next time!!