Disappointed + Silence = ....

All I wanted today was someone to talk to. It seemed like the only people I actually wanted to talk to were far to busy to take 10 minutes out of their day to listen to me and just be there. I feel really alone right now. I just want to cry. Actually, that's exactly what I'm doing.

 I feel so disappointed in the VERY LIMITED number of people I want to say I feel like confiding into. I may have the capacity to stand alone. I did it for years at a time in the past, but that's not a life style I want to lead. It's the past I thought I left far behind me. Clearly I was wrong. Today was a horrible and lonely day for me. I thought I was going to go out with my friend, that didn't happen, I thought I was going to get a hold of someone about a position... that didn't happen.

Nothing worked out as expected. So I'm going to take my meds and call it a night. I'm so hurt and disappointed by the select people I wanted to talk to. After tonight I've made the choice to just keep things to myself. To not bother texting or calling anyone.

I just want to find one person that cares about me as much as I care about them and they actually show it. I won't give up. I know he's out there. And I will find him. Until then... I'll remain alone.