He's just not that into... ME!

I recently reentered the nightmarish world of dating. It hasn't been THAT bad, but I've always thought that it would be nice to just meet the person I'm supposed to be with and have that be that. Life just isn't that simple.

I've dated all kinds....
the over emotional, still attached to his ex, prissy, mama's boy. - Oh that was a roller coaster of fun! The emotionally detached, silent, boring, cut throat, abusive douch bag. - That did wonders on my self-esteem by the way.
The unemployed, unmotivated, uneducated, unambitious sad excuse for a human being. - I would rather be alone.

 It's almost like, no matter what I can't catch a break. I've never been the type of person that needed the "hot" guy (if I so happen to find that then GREAT!). I would rather just have an average all around, loyal, affectionate, hard working, funny guy. Believe it or not... it's damn near impossible (if not, totally impossible) to find this kind of guy. They tend to have some other weird flaw. Like being unemployed (for more then 3 months, no excuse! get a job!) a drunk, clingy, crazy, controlling, boring, no car/license... or... has emotional baggage.

Geesh! emotional baggage is one of the worst things a guy can have. I dated a guy that was hung up over his ex. Clearly she didn't love him because she cheated on him and she turned down his marriage proposal and broke up with him. I dunno... that's a pretty good sign that you should move on. Even after like 4 years he was still hung up on her. HELLO! move on! that's just pathetic.
I have loved 2 people and was forced to let them go. After Sean I never wanted to love again. But I did. I have absolutely no regrets. I could easily be like the guys I've met and let these people define me. I refuse to. I'm better and stronger then that. I just don't understand how anyone could go years with hate and anger in their heart. Let it go! I have no hard feelings for ANYONE that I have dated and has hurt me. I want the best for them and hope that they are happy.

Besides all that there isn't much to update.

Flying out on Sunday. I CAN'T WAIT! Las Vegas here I come!

I'm pretty sure I mentioned this but I'm on new meds. I'm on Lexapro and Abilify. I have to take both of them. And they are working great. In fact I have so much energy I can't seem to get tired. All I want to do is clean or cook or do something. The meds are definitely helping me cope with certain things in my life.

My friends have seen a positive change in me. Thank goodness :D
I won't give up on anything. Not the dating world, not the working world, not the ... ANYTHING. I got way to much faith to let anything keep me down. I know I'm going to find someone amazing. And I'm going to find a great job and move out. I refuse to let some set backs keep me from my goals. I'm going to lose weight, feel great and have a great year :)

Until next time blog readers... BYE BYE!!

This is kinda how I feel ....