New meds = new hope

Yesterday I went and saw my P-doc. After reading off my laundry list of issues that have manifested since Sean & my break up she diagnosed me Clinically depressed. I looked up what that means and sure as hell I have every single symptom.
So... I'm on new meds. I won't be feeling the effects of it for at least another 2 weeks :/ considering the fact that I JUST started them. I can't wait to start feeling "normal" again. I'm sick and tired of feeling like I've lost a piece of myself through this horrible breakup.

I know that a lot of all this has to do with positive/negative thinking. I can't keep thinking so negative. It was his loss. He lost the greatest thing he will ever have in his life. When he does decide to slither his way back to me I'm gonna be happy and probably with someone new. (because that's the way things ALWAYS work out in my life). I mean I do gotta take care of and put energy/emotion in what matters to me. That includes myself (of course), my beloved pets, my best friends and the only 2 family members I got left.

I feel so empowered today. Like yesterday was a HUGE step in the right direction. I'm just ready to put the past in the past and let go. There's nothing I can do. And like I always say, you only have 2 choices, either fix it or accept it. I can't fix it, so I gotta just accept it. I refuse to let this continue consuming me. It's destroying my physical and mental health. I have so much to look forward to and I'm just letting this keep me from focusing on those things. Both big and small things.

>This month are my two best friends birthday! Jenn turns 30 and Sarah turns 21!!! :D
>Next month my other best friend, Dan, turns 29! and my mom turns 59. And I'm going to NYC to spend the day with said best friend.
>October is after that and it's HALLOWEEN and pumpkin killing time. Also the leaves change and it starts getting cold and becoming hoodie wearing weather. lol!
>November is THANKSGIVING and we're having a party this year!
>December is CHRISTMAS and who doesn't love gifts :) I'm also going to Atlantic City for 3 days.
>January is NEW YEARS and I had a blast ringing in 2011, I'm sure 2012 is gonna be just as much fun.
>February I GET A NEW CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yup! officially looking into getting a new little buddy. I'm looking into a 2008-2011. I saw a NICE 2010 for a great price. I'm thinking of (another) Hyundai, Toyota, Nissan, VW or Honda. Not sure just yet. Gonna start doing more homework around December. (btw, a brand new car is totally out of the question. I find that is the best way of throwing away money. A car depreciates 60% the moment you drive this "new" item off the lot. Also, I worked for a car FINANCE company for 2 years and I know what I'm talking about.)
>March is my 29th BIRTHDAY! (MORE PRESENTS!)

So... I got a ton to look forward to in the next 6 or so months. The past 2.5 have been pure misery for me. But no no more. I won't let it keep me down. I'm on new meds, I'm gonna start seeing a new therapist 2x a month, starting this month, and get back on the right track. I'm stronger then this. I'm better then this and I deserve the best life has to offer. If Sean doesn't want me, I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

I know the past 2.5 months I've been purely hell to deal with. I want to give a great big thank you to the 3 people that have stood by my side through all this. Thank you Jenn, Sarah & Dan. The greatest people in the universe. Most people are lucky to find ONE best friend. I'm the lucky one who gets THREE! :) I may have lost my family, but having you guys in my life makes up for it 1,000x's!

This is a GREAT video that I found. For those people that feel like all they want is to be "happy" I suggest listening to it :D